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When you are upset, worried or feeling down, it can help to talk about what you are going through.

Talking to someone about what’s troubling you can make a big difference to how you feel.

  • Often in talking with someone you gain a different perspective that can help you look at things in a different way or find solutions.
  • Talking it out can help lessen worry and reassure you that there is a better or different way forward.
  • Have a cup of tea with someone who cares for you, or give them a call, and let them know you are not okay. You don’t have to appear to be strong or to try to struggle through things by yourself.

Someone will notice

Sometimes, we expect that those close to us should know we aren’t feeling good. We feel that they should notice what we are going through. However, perhaps they haven’t noticed or perhaps they are waiting for you to ask, not wanting to interfere. If you communicate your feelings to them, people are often willing to help out a friend in need. Your friends or family are often glad you asked and indeed, feel privileged that you asked them in the first place.

How do I get started?

Talking about your feelings is a sign of personal strength and of being able to take control of your life. It can be difficult to know how to start a conversation about your feelings or worries.

  • Find the right moment for the conversation – you want to have time to talk and not be interrupted.
  • You might find it easier to start the conversation when you are doing something else – such as out for a walk or doing the dishes together.

What do I say?

  • It’s okay to start off by saying you have been going through a tough time and to describe what you’ve been thinking and feeling.  
  • It is normal to feel a little nervous. You might worry about how people will react but when you let someone know you need their help, they will respond positively. You might also find it hard to talk to others about your feelings and experiences.
  • Or perhaps you have tried to talk to someone – or to get help – and things haven’t improved for you.  Don’t give up. There is support available, and talking about your feelings will get easier with time.
  • You can also write down how you feel, as this may help make the words clearer in your mind. Writing down your worries can have a two-fold effect.  The act of writing itself can be a therapeutic release. Also seeing your thoughts and feelings on paper allows you to confront them and find ways to deal with them.  Often when broken down it is also easier to put some perspective on them.

Who do I talk to?

Confide in someone you trust such as your partner, a family member, a friend or neighbour. People will listen and give you support if you let them know how you’re feeling. It might also help the people you care about – if you open up about your feelings, they might do the same. Even being in other people’s company can help. If you find it too difficult to talk to a loved one, consider talking to a G.P. or counsellor.

 If you need to talk to someone right now, free call Samaritans on 116 123. Samaritans are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.